Entering the
monastery was not their choice. It was a way of surviving for the first few
years then leaving thereafter. The plan was to continue home schooling up to
the secondary level then taking off for college and living outside. However, in
a few years time, their minds’ focus and the hearts’ desires have changed. All
has been directed to our Lord.
My Family
This is an experience
of my siblings. I came from the usual traditional family, wherein the father is
the breadwinner and the mother is a house maker. Coming from a large family of
thirteen members is not that easy. I believe the sacrifice of my parents is
double or even triple than the usual small families. Just like all families, we
had our own problems that had consumed us for some time. One of which is the
financial status. Our father lost his job. He kept the burden to himself and to
my mom. It was such a difficult time.
Until then, the monastery at Pampanga was opened to us. The four of my youngest
siblings, two brothers and two sisters, together with my mom entered. Some of
us remained in our house in Baguio since we were still studying college. The
rest of our house was rented, which became our major source of income. Although
my four siblings were somewhat forced into the monastery, it was agreed that
they will continue their homeschooling until high school and eventually take up
college outside. At the same time, the monastery has been lenient to our
family. This has been a total adjustment in their way of life but luckily they
still stayed together as a family and not separated from the brothers group and
the sisters group.
Monastic Experience
The monastery follow
the Benedictine way of life at the same time honoring Our Lady of Guadalupe. It
is a place of having nothing else but time for God. It is not a place of saints
but a place of those striving to go to heaven.
It is a place of praying seven times a day, working a few hours, eating
twice a day, learning about God and at the end of a day resting. The groups of
brothers are separated from the group of sisters. However, there are married
couples and families who live together.
Slowly, my
siblings have been practicing the way of life of a monk. Visiting them was
living with them. Our usual vacation such as an out of town adventure, like
going to the beach or theme park, has been changed to staying at the monastery
and living its way of life with the rest of my family. Just like any other
vacations’ intention to relax, revitalize, and to have fun; my vacation for the
past years was to see my family, regain my spiritual strength and peace of mind
and heart. No doubt, that every time I
stay there for a few days or weeks, I always experience an inner joy and
satisfaction different from my usual happy moments. I guess this is how God’s
grace works. In about four years time, the decision of my two sisters made a
major impact on me. One night, my two sisters, ages 11 and 14, walked towards
my dad’s room. They asked permission if they could already enter together with
the group of sisters in the monastery. Entering meant that my siblings would
live permanently with the group of sisters and my father would not be seeing
them anymore unless through spontaneous circumstances. Unfortunately, my father
disagreed. I understood how he felt. It was as if giving up your two youngest
children just like when Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice. At that moment,
my sister (age 14), cried in front of our father because she really desired to
live the life of a monk. After a few months, my dad gave his full consent for
my two sisters to be permanently a part of the group of sisters. Later on, my
brothers, who were still with my mom, made their decisions too. My brother, age
19, decided to leave the monastery and go back to our home in Baguio, while my
other brother, 18 years old, entered permanently with the group of brothers. The
basis of older brother’s decision to leave was to see the reality outside the
corners of the monastery. He wanted to see if everything that he has been able
to watch, conferences and sermons heard on the events happening outside are
true. Moreover, he wanted to discern on his own. It was now a choice that if he
comes back, it is not by force but a decision made by his own free will. He
also said that working for the salvation of one’s soul could be done even outside
the monastery since the values have already been instilled and that my parents
didn’t have to worry. Still, my parents protested. Eventually, the superiors
and my parents permitted him to leave. Spending a few months outside and having
time to bond with him, made me realize how strong my brother was. He told me
that he did not like what he saw. Despite being offered to go to school and
study again, he said that he was not interested and that he would be coming
back. After seven months living outside, he entered the monastery again. Now,
it was his personal choice done wholeheartedly. As it has been said, ‘Deny
yourself, take up your cross, and follow me.’
A Rumination
Being a sister of
my four siblings, I am impressed by their courage and strength. At a young age,
they have spoken for themselves and made a decision to deny themselves by
leaving all material things and leaving us family; taking up their burdens,
lifting it all to the Lord, and following Christ without hesitation and not
turning back. Their conviction for Christ has been greater than I could
possibly imagine. It is not easy, knowing that I will not be seeing them
anymore, but I am not troubled because there is no other safer place to be than
in God’s hands. By their examples, they have been instruments to bring our
family closer to God and realize His presence within us. Their courage in
responding to Gods’ will is something that I admire.
The Lord has a
plan for all of us – a plan far deeper than our own understanding. Sometimes,
we ask Him what these are. But we, as His children, tend to ignore these even
if the Lord has already shown what He really wants of us. Thus, failing to recognize and to respond to
it. We even have our doubts as we
question Him, “Lord, ito po ba talaga ang gusto Niyo para sa akin?” (Lord, is this really what You want of me?”) We try to make compromises, thus delaying His
plans for us. Why? Because we are scared. But why be scared when
we are going back to where we came from…to our Father in heaven? We are destined to be with Him. It is up to us to make it happen. The Lord said, “I will instruct you and teach
you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you”. Therefore, there is nothing to fear because He will always be on our side when we follow
His call.
by Angelica Joven
