Alone at Last?

With all the personality tests I’ve taken and with how almost all of my friends describe me, I agree that one of my characteristics is really being too much dependent at times.  Before this Manila trip last February 05 to 10, 2012, I’ve never really been to any movie house alone, I’ve never eaten at any restaurant alone, and it drags me dead to visit any mall alone. A lot of things I have to do with a companion. And when it comes to decision making, I always have to ask for others’ opinion before I make up my own, always thinking that they might have better ideas than I do for myself.  Most of the time, I end up on either the wrong choices or not being totally happy with my choices in life.

               
          Enough with a very long introduction, as I said, last February 05, I accompanied my relatives to Manila for their scheduled flight back to UK. After that, I decided to stay there for a little longer because I wanted to visit my other relatives and friends in Manila (twice palang din kasi ako nagpupunta dito kaya parang ang ganda magbakasyon). When I arrived at my cousin’s place at FTI, Taguig, I rested for a bit then met up with other friends at SM Megamall, Ortigas and SM North Edsa at Quezon City. And because my cousin was working, I had to go to these places alone. As a first timer I was really nervous and anxious traveling. Since it was Manila, I kept in my mind to be extra careful with my things and myself (“Tignan mu mga gamit mo baka manakawan ka.” would be a familiar line I always hear). I would always bring with me a map of Metro Manila I bought to guide me with my adventure. I had to ride a tricycle, then jeep, then a bus, then MRT, LRT, wow! Any transportation there is I took them. I was able to visit Cubao as well, the mushrooming malls it has, friends from college and Brevmates, I visited my foster mom at New Manila QC and our foster parish—Mt. Carmel—during the National youth Day. Oh, ang dami diba? And indeed, no doubt, every bit of this adventure is worth savoring. Sobrang nag-enjoy talaga ako! :)

From the simple things like whether to ride a bus or MRT, having enough courage to eat at a restaurant alone, and the bigger things like whether to apply or not, to take the risk to be separated from my family just to work in Manila, indeed this trip taught a lot on being independent; not always depending on others ‘decisions and standing up for the choices I make. I’ve learned about the essence of being focused, knowing what I really want and searching deep down inside my heart the desires God has planted in me. It’s not that the opinions of others are wrong or are not good for me, of course their concern as my friends is enough to assure me that they only want the best for me and that they just want to help in any way they could. But sometimes, this time, I just know and feel it’s worth it to believe in myself. Because in the first place I have to remind myself that God is always with me. Not too much on depending on others, I think it is better to always, first, to depend on God especially through prayers. We know that when we seek God first, good things will surely follow. I’m just excited on where these decisions will take me in the next few months and I'm happy that finally I've started my career-- and that is making a decision. Honestly, it’s not really on being alone but on being ALONE WITH GOD. :)